WORKOUT!!

This was my workout today, I did 3 rounds. I plan on doing 3 more rounds this evening. 

My mantra: Every Day In Every Way I Am Getting Thinner And Thinner.

BANANAS!!!!

So I got a 40 lb box of bananas and I am making a bunch of dried bananas, I love to just peal them, cut them in half length wise and lay them on the mesh dehydrator sheet. They are super yummy this way, my husband and kids LOVE them! I love being able to offer healthy snack choices! I also made some strawberry/banana fruit leather! my kids love this as a snack too! It's a great snack to have when traveling too! 

1 lb strawberries, stems cut off

2-3 bananas

a little maple syrup or agave (optional)

put into food processor and blend until smooth, pour and spread onto dehydrator sheets!

I did two batches to make 5 trays, I think I probably could have stretched it to make 6 trays, but I didn't have any more because every other tray in between these are full of bananas! Be sure to not do more than this in your food processor, it will spill over. also don't take out the S blade or it will for sure spill out the hole in the middle! hold it in place while pouring! 

dry for a few hours and then flip them over and peel off the teflex sheet and dry until dry but not crispy. I like rolling them and then cutting into sections and putting in a container or ziplock, makes a quick yummy snack!

I am also going to freeze a whole bunch of bananas because I love love love smoothies and shakes with frozen bananas. Also my kids are in love with smoothies! They are a great place to hide healthy food in for kids, some of my favs are spinach, spirulina, or flax oil.

Have some fun with fruit leather! You can make it with just about any fruit, so there are millions of combinations!! whatever is in season!

Raw Banana and Cinnamon Ice Cream

5-6 frozen bananas

1-2 TBS cinnamon

put in food processor blend until smooth

it will turn crumbly first, keep blending and scraping down the sides

until it looks like this!!! 

I served it with some chocolate sauce, I used coconut oil, cocao powder, and maple syrup, next time I think I will leave the coconut oil out, because it was hard and I think it would have tasted better soft :) so just do like 1/2 c maple syrup with 2-3 T cocao powder depending on how chocolaty you like it! It satisfied my craving for something sweet and yummy!!!

I'm sitting here drinking a raw chocolate green smoothie, I'm on day 3 of eating all raw. I have been doing a lot of thinking on my authentic self and who I want to become. I know that there are a lot of things right now that just aren't flowing, so to me that means that some things aren't where they could be. I want to be in my flow, to flow down the river of my life and not get caught up in the things that hold me back from a smooth ride :) I decided a few days ago that I was done with being unhappy with myself, I was done with the excuses that hold me back from taking that last step and committing to creating the life I want. I have been doing a lot of reading on raw lifestyle, reading many stories of women taking charge of their health and becoming clear minded, happy, and finding connection again. I dream of having those things in my life. I have spent many hours researching how to do it, I visualize what I want, I will make a commitment to a new lifestyle, and then fall off in 2-3 weeks, reflecting on this has made me realize that I've been stuck in the yo-yo dieting mindset for as long as I can remember. Even back when I was thin and 'happy' with my body it was still like I was either on a diet or not. I have been working on changing my perspective on food, seeing it as medicine and realizing it's true purpose. Another big part of my perspective change is believing that I can do this, I have tried and failed so many times that I had come to the point where I didn't even want to try again, it has taken a lot of self inquisition and also letting go of old thought patterns. One of the things I have to continue to remind myself of is that I'm not missing out on anything. When I was growing up my mom was very into health, she was vegan/vegetarian for a lot of my childhood. Whenever I went to a friends house or was babysitting I would eat whatever junk food I could get my hands on. I started watching my food pretty young, I remember reading diet books, and health books, I would always be starting a new way of eating but never sticking to it for more than 2-3 weeks. I've been doing this for over 20 years now. I am very grateful for the foundation of knowledge about health I have thanks to my upbringing, I was just going about it in the wrong way. One thing I have realized is that I get consumed with food and think about it all the time, I want to free that space and fill it with beautiful creative thoughts! 
 I had lost weight and was pretty happy with myself right before I met my husband and then after we were married circumstances were such that I was alone a lot, I didn't have my green card yet (I'm Canadian) and I couldn't work, he worked away 8 days and then home for 6. We had moved to a small town where I didn't know anyone and I just started eating. I've always been an emotional eater, I have had a million and one reasons to eat besides hunger. I am done with that. I don't have any illusions that it won't come up many more times, or even that I might slip up, but that is one of my biggest excuses. "I'm an emotional eater and I'm an emotional person so it's practically impossible for me not to eat emotionally", this is something I have believed for a very long time. So I am moving forward with new found excitement for my life and for my relationship with food. I know that I am drawn to the raw food lifestyle for a reason. I just have to take that step, to actually live it. I know how to do it, I have a million and one recipes, I get excited about learning more about it, I get excited to make new recipes. I LOVE the food!!! I believe in it. I believe in the benefits of God food, it is perfect, it is medicine. 

green chocolate shake

1/2 c soaked raw cashews

2-3 frozen bananas

2 T cocao or carob powder

5-6 dates, soaked

1 cup almond milk

2 cups fresh spinach

add water as needed

put in blender and blend until smooth. smile while you drink it!! and of course as with most raw food recipes, you can add more or less of anything and change it up as much as you want! this is just an idea! 

I read a great article on a woman who struggles with emotional eating and she eats a diet of raw foods, she talked about her all or nothing personality and how she does so much better when she is eating 100% raw foods. I can relate to the all or nothing mentality. I have fought it for many years and I have decided to just embrace it and and realize that that is the way my mind works and go for it! I found throughout the first day I had to remind myself of my WHY, why did I want this, it was very helpful! I have also been doing chanting/meditations almost every day for a week and a half and I find that it helps me be more mindful and present. I feel like I have more control over my mind, to quiet it and to feel peaceful. I think meditation is going on my list of must do's. Also I have been doing yoga, and reading a book on the deeper meaning of yoga besides the Asanas (poses). I am really enjoying it! Here's to new found hope and the power to create!

“Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be.” -Henry David Thoreau

“Life is raw material. We are artisans. We can sculpt our existence into something beautiful, or debase it into ugliness. It’s in our hands.” -Cathy Better

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” -Aristotle

So I did boot camp for 7 weeks, I missed my last week due to illness. I have been sick for 2 weeks and today is the first time I've worked out in 2 weeks, it kicked my butt!! it's like i'm back to square one. Today I am back on track, i worked out with a couple good friends, it was really great! I came home, ate 2 bananas and a quart of fresh juice, I put 1 cucumber, 3 stalks celery, handful of spinach, handful of parsley, and 2 apples. it's really green and feels really nourishing! When I eat today I will be conscious of first doing no harm, second building and moving towards health, third being conscious of how my body feels and how I'm doing emotionally, I am going to be conscious of the reasons why I want to eat. It's a beautiful day and I am going to enjoy it!! I

boot camp

i signed up for boot camp, it starts Monday. it starts at 5:30 am and it's Mon. to Fri. and goes for 4 weeks. i am excited for this new challenge. i'm ready to get my butt kicked!! i've been thinking about my emotional eating and becoming more aware of it and when i do it. i think if i could change my perspective about food it would really help. i guess i need to think about what perspective would help me avoid the things i do that are not serving me in my desire to be healthy. i am going to set some very clear goals and think of what i would like my life to be like and how i want to feel, and figure out how to get there. and i begin with boot camp starting monday!!!!

Midnight Musings

Why is it that when I look in the fridge I don't see any food? Or when I look in my pantry the shelves are bare? Or when I look in my food storage room, I have no food? I have food in my fridge, I have food in my pantry and I have food in my storage room. I have a feeling of panic and fear, and this weird thing where I feel like I can't even eat the food that I do have and that I have to ration it and save it or I might be without food. I have NEVER been without food in my entire life!!!! Where does this come from? My first thought goes to my "story" that I've told many times over, about how my mom was vegan for a lot of my childhood and so we hardly ever ate "junk" food. I think that I believe that it wasn't fair that I never got to eat the stuff that other kids were allowed to eat. I remember that when I babysat I would totally look in the cupboards and fridge and find the least healthy foods to eat, and I could pound that food like no other. I remember eating so much that I wanted to puke. I did a few times but I've always had such a hard time puking that it was more trouble that it was worth. I remember that I've always compared myself to other people and always had a vivid imagination about what other people were thinking about me. I have to confess that I still have that imagination, I have thought up a few crazy stories, and I felt and reacted as if they were real, I have created a lot of sadness, fear, confusion, and heartache for myself by letting it go off like I do. I want to just be. and be ok with it. That doesn't mean that I don't dream and move forward, it almost means the opposite of that, I think that if I were able to get that babble mouth in my head to shut up, I'd be able to just let my feelings and my true, higher self be my guide. I wonder why I saw it as negative. My Mom taught me about health and nutrition, and alternative healing modalities. I was taught to trust in our bodies, and to believe in the power of our bodies and that we can heal ourselves with nutrition. I believe that even more now that I've been studying food and nutrition for so many years. That's the main thing I get down on myself about, is that I have the knowledge and I don't practice it. I know for a fact that if I changed my diet and lifestyle, and consistently was consistent with eating raw and juicing, and consuming living foods that are created for life, and with moving my body, I would be happy at least most days, and it would eliminate MOST of my negative self talk. I want to be LIVING THE LIFE I WANT!!! not just dreaming about it. why do I feel so crippled when it comes to doing it? some kind of belief that I won't succeed or that I won't be as successful as someone else, or that I just can't do it, that I don't have what it takes to actually have a great life. the things i want in my life are not tangible in the material sense, they are feelings. I want to feel a sense of pride in my life, I want to be happy with who I am, I want to be me, the person that I dream of. I want to feel like nothing holds me back from doing what i want to do to be happy. i feel like there is a lot more of me that I could tap into if I just felt like I had the energy to do it. I feel so tired all the time, I know that that would go away if I ate what I know in my gut that I should eat. If I moved my body more, I would have more energy to be a fun mom, I could do what I wanted to do without feeling like it would take too much outta me. the more life I want to live, the more  living foods I need to consume. it's all about action and consequence, if I want more in my life I need to feed myself accordingly. Also I know I need more sleep, especially time before midnight. I could drink more water. I think it's really about adding stuff, and having the mentality of choosing what I want to do for a reason, not just because it's what feels best at that moment. sometimes we need to do things that feel hard to get the results or consequences that we desire. something I need to realize is that I need to keep going even after it starts to feel better, I want to go all the way, I don't just want to be satisfied with part way there, I want to always keep going, keep working towards what I want. while doing all of this moving forward stuff, the most important thing I think, is to be in the now. be present right now, this is the only real thing there is. the future and the past aren't real right now, I want to live right here and right now because my life is passing by without me being present. I put too much of myself into the future, and then am sad when I come back to the reality of the present. so the decisions that I make right now are what matters. Jezelle, start listening. and you have food in your house, food that might take a little work, but will nourish you. think sprouts and wheatgrass! living foods! foods that carry the energy that I want to feel! I don't need to be feeling any more dead that I already do, so eat the LIVING FOODS!!! I CHOOSE LIFE. I CHOOSE HEALTH. I CHOOSE ME :)